Probably shouldn't have said that...

The kids have been bickering since before the sun came up.

Andrew has cried 13 times because his brother pushed/hit/pinched/said something that was not received well.

Eli has cried 7 times because his brother wouldn't follow the rules he had established upon their early rise. 

Me: (in a frustrated plea) Please guys, just PLEASE, no more yelling. No more fighting. Just be kind or stay in different rooms. You two have been acting like fart heads all morning and I just can not take it any longer. I need you to be nice if you want to go swimming. That's it. And if you can't do that the you'll get spankings and have to nap for the rest of the day. 

Eli: (choking back tears) I don't know why you would say that.

Me: What are you talking about?

Eli: You called us fart heads.

Me: No, I said you were ACTING like fart heads. And I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.

Eli: It's OK. I just don't know what a fart head acts like. (He does a silly face and dance.)

Me: That's the opposite of fart head. That's fun and nice.

Eli: Well fart heads aren't nice?

Me: No. They are mean to their brothers and don't listen to their mommy.

Eli: Well, I think me and Drew ARE fart heads sometimes.

Me: Well, maybe. But let's try not to be. Let's be happy, good boys. And that will make us all happy.

Eli: I will try.

Drew: I want a snack.

I wasn't allowed to say 'fart' growing up. Or 'butt' or even 'pee'…

Someone tooted, their bottom hurt and they had to tinkle…

We were in Target one day and the Despicable Me Fart Gun toy was picked up and Eli enthusiastically announced what he'd found and another mother nearly passed out. She grabbed her kid who was probably 8 or 9 and scurried away. Do you let your kids say fart? I don't really encourage it (which you may not believe due to the conversation above) but I don't scorn them for saying it… Just curious…